Slugs, they're a bit of a problem.
Many gardeners are in a bit of a quandary when it comes to them. They feel slightly guilty about controlling them, especially using poisonous pellets in these environmentally responsible times. But then, they also have a major issue with them eating prized plants.
We're told to use the organic and supposedly harmless (to wildlife, pets and people, not slugs and snails) pellets based on iron phosphate. But after recent reading I'm not so sure if they're anywhere near as safe as we've been led to believe.
The poor, confused gardener then feels that their only hope is to resort to using the deterrent method for dealing with the problem.
Try coffee grounds he's told. So off to Starbucks he goes and grabs a couple of bags to spread liberally around the base of Hosta plants. After a few days the slugs outright ignore the fine mulch and slide right across, presumably having a feeding frenzy while high on caffeine, meaning they can eat twice as much leaf in half the time.
Build up a ring of crushed egg shells around the plant, the books say. I refuse. It might work but I haven't tried it. I've tried composting egg shells but they take an age to break down, then when you spread your compost as mulch there are unsightly flecks of shell all over the surface. I certainly don't want an ugly ring of broken shell that will detract from the plant that its designed to protect.
Nematodes are an option, but such methods of control bring back traumatic memories of Sigourney Weaver in the Alien films. Something I try not to think about, having watched them at a much younger age than I should have been allowed.
Then there is the method of partially sinking a ring of copper in the ground completely encircling the plant, along comes Mr (and Mrs, 'cos they're both at the same time) Mollusc, (s)he approaches the succulent Hosta, thinking that the low wall of copper is a an easily surmounted obstacle. 'Ha, think that will stop me do you? (s)he scoffs, but the gardener has the last laugh as the copper gives the unsuspecting slug a mild electric shock which stops it in its tracks, so off it must go with its slimy tail between its nonexistent legs.
But the now confident gardener has not won yet, those cunning and acrobatic gastropods have another trick up their metaphorical sleeves.
Enter Super Slug.
Super Slug is a wily, nimble, but secretive character, rarely seen and not often spoken of. Like the fabled Loch Ness monster, some photographic evidence does exist but it is often unverified, grainy and poor in quality, much like the snap below taken by yours truly.
Super Slug eschews slithering over the ground like mere mortal molluscs.
Not for him(her) the daily drudge of sliding through mulch, over spiky gravel or across shards of broken egg shell, (s)he will not suffer the pain of electric shocks from your ring of impenetrable copper tape.
(S)he scales a tree and slithers along an overhanging branch, clambers to a porch roof, up your garage wall or some other high vantage point. It then produces a thick and strong slime mix and slowly but surely lowers its leaf munching body down onto the prized plant, bypassing all the high tech security measures that the smug gardener has put in place. I mean, abseiling slugs, really?? What will thy think of next to outwit us poor hapless souls?
Having witnessed this event last summer the gardener feels that he now has only one option left in his arsenal, garlic spray. But it seems that the resourceful slug is always one step ahead, so it's likely that they will develop a taste for Hosta and Canna leaf salad with a nice dressing of homemade garlic spray.
The only hope, if they do chew the treated plants, is that any potential mates will be put off any thoughts of amore as their breath will smell so bad, thus ultimately decreasing their numbers.
Well, that's the plan anyway.....
